The Woman in the Shop
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: It wasn't a woman manipulating things for some sort of grand scheme or anything. It was a man, who likes to dress up, and all he wanted to was to make sure his best mate wasn't lonely...and maybe, you know, actually get some.


The Doctor gawked at the handsome man in unflattering disbelief. Not that Clara blamed him, she didn't think it was possible for men to come so beautiful, but also he had just revealed that he had manipulated her and the Doctor's first meeting, and their reconciliation, and a few other moments in between to help their friendship along the way,

"Wait," the Doctor held up a hand. "Wait," he repeated again. "_Shut up_!"

"I haven't said anything," the handsome bloke said amused, "but I'll shut up if I have something to occupy my mouth," he added with a heavy flirty overtone…..actually no, his whole voice was just sex itself.

Oh dear…

The Doctor looked like he was suffering a severe headache and nausea at the same time but he didn't let that get in the way of discovering the truth. Let's face it. He could be dying of a gun wound, have a leg chopped off, and been in severe need of the toilet, and still he would chase after the truth than tend to his needs…..God no wonder he needed Clara, who else would take care of him?

"So it had been you all this time?" the Doctor pressed.

The man grinned cheerfully. "Yep!"

"But Clara said a woman gave her the phone number!"

Clara did. She clearly remembered a woman. A rather tall and broad looking woman with a handsomely strong face that looked remarkably like this man but a woman still….man she wished she had his legs, he looked good in a skirt.

"I like to mix things up," the handsome man shrugged, "Millions years old, you get bored. You should know that."

"I don't dress up as a woman," the Doctor said flatly.

(Clara snorted at that. She'd been through his timeline she _knows _things.)

"Oh I bet you do," the man said flirtatiously as ever. Clara wondered if he ever stopped, judging by the way the Doctor was gritting his teeth, she'd say he didn't. "Why else would your wardrobe have so many dresses?"

"Get out."

"Oh come on Doc!" the man pouted. "You're _lonely._ I was being a good friend. Every man needs a beautiful woman to keep them company, and I thought she was perfect for you. I mean look at her!" he waved a hand at Clara and then dragged his eyes up and down. She felt like she was being undressed by his eyes….not that she minded, no she didn't mind at all…. "She's hot," he winked at her, "very, very, very hot…"

"OUT!"

"Any other guy would appreciate this," the man pointed out. "Hell, Ten _definitely_ would have!"

Clara remembered Ten, he was very cute, playful, and rather flirty. Seeing as he married Elizabeth the first and apparently (according to her first Doctor with the bow tie and big chin) snogged far too many women much to the disgust of all the other Doctors inside of them.

"Yes, well Ten was a playboy," The Doctor scoffed, "I am not interested." He said it haughtily and all dignified but Clara knew the truth. All the Doctors were just as bad as each other.

"Oh I see…." the man said as he grinned knowingly. "Well if that's the case I would be more than happy to see to your needs."

"OUT! GET OUT NOW!"

"Oh come on!" the man moaned. "You can't deny me this! You're very sexy in that suit, nice arse, and the accent is really sexy. Just one last snog, Nine let me have one!"

"I swear to all things holy, Jack Harkness," the Doctor hissed, his Scottish accent thickened, "If you don't get out now I will ensure you'll spend the rest of your immortal life as a eunuch!"

"Fine, I'll go!" Jack huffed. "Next time I see someone amazing I'll certainly ensure not to match make them with you. You ungrateful arse!"

He barely left the TARDIS in time from the Doctor's attempt to castrate him by throwing knives, and yet still Jack Harkness managed to flirt with her one last time, wink, leave his phone number in her back pocket and molest the Doctor one last time.

There were worse people to manipulate Clara and the Doctor….far worse, and nowhere near good looking…..


End file.
